Now Hiring: Rock$tar$ Only!

The Best Company Ever (TBCE) is now hiring.  This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! 

Company Background:

Our founders hail from Harvard, Mars, MIT, and Atlantis and helped invent Google, General Electric, America, and the wheel.  Many startups provide you with the opportunity to get in at the "ground level."  We say, why get in at the ground level when you can get in at the BASEMENT?!  That's right, we're in the basement.  We have a lot of amazing ideas and we're confident that any of our ideas will be The Next Big Thing.  By getting in at the basement level, you can be assured that the only direction to go is UP!

Required Experience:

• 10+ years experience with Ruby on Rails
• 4 years experience living on a raft in the Pacific ocean
• 3 years experience icing cakes with Ruby frosting
• 2 years experience achieving world peace
• It is absolutely imperitve that you use good grammar and write good

Desired Skills:

• You own a yacht
• Your favorite color is cement gray
• You can eat fire
• You enjoy working 70 hour weeks

Compensation:

Why make millions when you can make...EQUITY!  Also, we provide a $25 gift card to Amazon.  Can't put a price tag on that!

To apply, please email your resume, social security number, and your mother's maiden name to: thebestcompanyever@mirrorplacement.com. 

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Made you look!

Ok, this is obviously a fake job posting.  We thought we'd have a little fun and exaggerate some of the things companies do wrong in posting jobs and attempting to attract candidates.  Below we've outlined some things to do and not to do when writing a job posting.

Don't:

• Exaggerate your company's potential.  There are so many companies out there that think they will be The Next Big Thing.  That's awesome, and one of them WILL be The Next Big Thing.  But not everyone will.  Don't take yourself too seriously or your company comes across as arrogant.  It's great to be excited about your company's potential, but give some stats to back up where you currently are, and where you hope to be. (e.g. We have 300k current monthly users and are on track to increase 125% each month.)
• Stress things that don't matter.  Does every bullet point on your "required experience" list truly matter for your specific position?  Don't just copy the requirements for a general "Software Engineer" and add some more.  Take the time to think through what skills are really needed on Day 1 and what someone might learn on the job.  You probably already have a great team in place that will impart key "institutional knowledge" on your new hire.
• Be boring and unoriginal.  Many companies fail to communicate what's unique about their company and the particular opening they're hiring for.  Jazz things up.  Find a way to communicate what's unique about your company and this opportunity.
• Be too general or vague.  Some startups are in "stealth mode" and can't describe their company much, but most aren't.  That means, instead of diving into job requirements, give a brief description of who your company is-- how long you've been around, what you've accomplished so far, and where you're headed in the future.

Do:

• Be original and interesting.  Job seekers are looking at dozens of job postings -- what would make yours memorable?  We love the creativity of this job posting.
• Be honest.  If you list a compensation range, be sure that this position falls within that range.  It's not a good way to start a relationship with an employee by saying you just can't pay the upper range you had listed to start.  This happens too often.
• Consider your audience.  If you're writing a job posting for a software engineer, they will be looking for different perks than a marketing manager.  (e.g. What kind of hardware will I be working with?  Am I given any equipment to work with at home?)  Think about what your company offers that would attract your ideal candidate for this position.  Although it is good to include general perks of your company, don't stop there.
• Get input from your colleagues.  If you're a HR manager writing a job description for a position you don't really know much about, consult with this position's future boss.  We really have seen job postings that require "7+ years of Ruby on Rails experience."  That's just embarrassing.  It's ok if you don't understand everything you're requiring of someone, but do your homework to be sure it makes sense.  Consult with other employees at the company who hold similar positions to the one you're hiring for.  They can add more specific selling points of the company.  What attracted them will likely attract more good people like them.

Overall, writing a job posting can be similar to preparing a resume.  A job posting is an attempt to "sell" your company to the most attractive candidates, hoping that they choose to apply and come on board.  Just like a resume, your job posting should be concise but interesting, honest but memorable, and most importantly, let the personality of your company shine through. 

A good job posting can go a long way in helping your candidate search too.  General and poorly written job postings garner dozens of useless resumes, making finding the right candidate a bit like finding a needle in a haystack.  Make your haystack smaller by writing a job posting that encourages self-selection on the part of the candidates.  The less you have to weed through, the quicker and more effectively you can find that right match. 

Bottom line: Don't talk about being The Next Big Thing.  Or require 7+ years of Rails experience.  Those job postings have a self-selection process too.  You might as well say: good developers need not apply.  Good developers will be attracted to (and apply to) job postings that are unique, honest, and well-written.  Consider the ideal candidate you're seeking to hire and ask yourself: what kind of job posting would attract them to apply? Talk to Brian More Blog Posts